I’ve long thought kids were over parented … parents worry about what might happen so kids don’t walk to visit friends or the park. And don’t get me started on children’s lack of free time because of hot housing kids via structured activities like tennis and violin and ballet.
This isn’t a new phenomenon. The world was heading in that direction 20-odd years ago when I had my daughters (now 22 and 24).
But why is it so (thank you Professor Julius Sumner Miller)? And what should be done about it?
I’ve long thought this behaviour driven by fear … fear of abduction, fear of rape, fear of attack and politicians don’t help with their fondness for using fear to manipulate us (reds under the bed, illegal immigrants, the Taliban etc).
Despite the constant barrage of stories in the news I don’t believe the world is more or less safe than it’s ever been. We now live with running water and better hygiene but these are technological advances, and people are basically the same as they’ve ever been because human nature is what’s always been.
What we actually have is greater access to information about what happens—at any time anywhere around the world—which makes the world feel unsafer and we have sensationalist media who bring it to us ad nauseum … think of large events like 9/11 (2001) in the US or the Bali bombings (2002). Or the awful things that happen to children like the disappearance of Madeleine McCann (2007), the US toddler duct taped to a wall for entertainment (2010) or the death of the Indian toddler Gurshan Singh in Melbourne (2010).
What seems to be happening (and probably increasing) is an assumption that terrible things are waiting for unsuspecting parents and children each time they leave the house … and so life is modified. Life becomes increasingly car dependent, house-centric and life’s options and children’s experience diminishes.
I strongly believe that the events that happen outside the house, while tragic, are the exception, and that we are in more danger from those we love than strangers on the street: child abuse, incest, rape, murder … these are more likely to be perpetrated on us by people we know than a stranger. But for some reason the idea that we’re not safe from the people we know or love doesn’t seem to raise an eyebrow.
What to do?
Lenore Skenazy of Free Range Kids horrified many in 2008 when she dropped off her nine year old in Manhattan and left him to take the subway home alone.
A scary thought and probably a little young in my opinion … but as parents we have to put what happens in the world into context and concentrate on teaching children independence and social skills, and that can only happen if they are placed in situations where they make their own decisions.
The next steps seem to be acknowledging our fears and reclaiming the world … but I’m not sure how to get to that point.
Any ideas?
Showing posts with label Because I can .... Show all posts
Showing posts with label Because I can .... Show all posts
Monday, November 1, 2010
Monday, August 16, 2010
Because I can ... announcing the vintage sheet FQ winners
After a very busy and highly enjoyable weekend I finally got the giveaway drawn … lucky I said I’d announce it on the blog today and didn’t say a time. I don’t like saying one thing and doing another.
Thank you to everybody who entered my first giveaway. It's been very exciting and I've enjoyed it a great deal.
So without further ado, the winners are:
1. Cam @ Curlypops
2. Catherine @ pencils and pins
3. Kellie @ Green Tea and Red Nails
4. Nicole @ Dabbling All Day
5. Marian @ Marian Edwards DreamWeaver
I hope the little win helps you feel a little better Cam … and I actually get to drop off a few of the parcels in person at the next NCB in October. That will be even more fun.
I love it as well that the people who won are all people who seem to read my blog and I definitely read (and comment) on theirs as well.
And there’s an extra piece of karma (or something equivalent) … I won Nicole’s giveaway back in June and now I can return the favour.
Aren’t giveaways fun?
Thank you to everybody who entered my first giveaway. It's been very exciting and I've enjoyed it a great deal.
So without further ado, the winners are:
1. Cam @ Curlypops
2. Catherine @ pencils and pins
3. Kellie @ Green Tea and Red Nails
4. Nicole @ Dabbling All Day
5. Marian @ Marian Edwards DreamWeaver
I hope the little win helps you feel a little better Cam … and I actually get to drop off a few of the parcels in person at the next NCB in October. That will be even more fun.
I love it as well that the people who won are all people who seem to read my blog and I definitely read (and comment) on theirs as well.
And there’s an extra piece of karma (or something equivalent) … I won Nicole’s giveaway back in June and now I can return the favour.
Aren’t giveaways fun?
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Because I can ... Interviewing
Applying for a job is hard but perhaps I can make it easier … I’ve been both an interviewer and an interviewee and given I’ve just finished interviewing I thought I’d share some learnings from the most recent process. (PS I work for the public service but I think my thoughts work equally well for large organisations.)
Let me tell you first what I’m looking for when I interview. Understanding the difference between skills and knowledge is important. Most applicants won’t know how to do a job before they start and they’ll learn that on the job … that’s knowledge. But skills are different: like time management, computer literacy, written and oral communication, working well in a team and good judgement. Skills take much longer to teach, eg written skills, and I expect an applicant to be able to demonstrate the skills for the advertised position … perhaps not at the highest level but at least have some experience.
So, a few things that might help a few of the recent candidates who didn't interview so well:
Ring the contact person. Before a resume/application is submitted DO ring to find out about the job. DO ask about the job and the skills being sought. This is a chance to make yourself stand out from the rest of the applicants. Please DON’T ask “how much are you paying?” straight after you’ve introduced yourself.
Resume. If the job has a duty statement or selection criteria DO address these. This document tells you what the job entails and what skills the successful person should have. Addressing these shows attention to detail and understanding. I only want to interview six people and not addressing these makes it easier for me to throw an application on the discard heap.
Research. Once you know the name of your prospective employer DO find out who they are and what they do. This may be the first question you’re asked, but even if it isn’t DO make it known that you’ve done this. This shows initiative, research and self motivation.
Preparation. DO think about the questions you’re likely to be asked at the interview. A duty statement or selection criteria is pretty much the questions you’ll be asked. DO prepare answers to the questions and DO make a list examples you’d like to use in the interview. It's hard trying to think them up on the spot.
Promptness. DO turn up 5-10 minutes before an interview. The trend now is to provide the questions before the interview starts and it’s a chance to think about what you'd like to say and apply your examples to each question. PS Where you can, DO try to have a separate example for each question, and not reuse the same example.
Greeting. DO shake hands with each member of a panel, and please ladies … no limp handshakes. DO repeat each member of the panel’s name as you meet to help remember their names, and DO take off your coat. DO ask whether it’s OK to use any resource material you’ve collected eg list of examples, copies of website material, etc. I’ve never said no (or been told no for that matter) and it shows a well prepared, interested candidate.
Interview. Each question is looking for your experience (and this is where a relevant example is so helpful) and your understanding of the skill(s) behind it. DO try to cover both of these things for each question, and maybe an example will help:
Question: Give an example of where you have demonstrated good time management skills.
Answer: Last July was a busy time as I was involved in preparing a contribution to the annual report as well as my usual work. One week I was asked to prepare an urgent brief for the Minister. I discussed this with my supervisor and suggested that some of the routine work I usually do could be shared between a couple of staff who don’t regularly do the same sort of work but are available to help when things are busy. That would allow me to make the urgent brief my priority and I would go back to the annual report contribution while the brief was being checked. Everything was submitted on time. To manage my time I also maintain a diary, prioritise my work each week based on deadlines, complexity and how long work will take to complete, and I actively work with others in my Section to ensure all our work is achieved.
The example gives the interviewer context to the answer and lists the skills: organisation, working with others (more senior and junior), pro-activity, self starter, planning and information sharing.
Closing. DO ask questions if you have any, including how much the position will pay if that hasn't previously been mentioned.
I've finished interviewing for the position I have and the successful person starts next week. Good luck with your interviews or interviewing in the future … it's a time consuming, laborious process with an uncertain outcome. (PS If you read scary ... you got it!) How do you go about organising yourself, and what preparation do you do? And what are you or would you be looking for as an interviewer?
Let me tell you first what I’m looking for when I interview. Understanding the difference between skills and knowledge is important. Most applicants won’t know how to do a job before they start and they’ll learn that on the job … that’s knowledge. But skills are different: like time management, computer literacy, written and oral communication, working well in a team and good judgement. Skills take much longer to teach, eg written skills, and I expect an applicant to be able to demonstrate the skills for the advertised position … perhaps not at the highest level but at least have some experience.
So, a few things that might help a few of the recent candidates who didn't interview so well:
Ring the contact person. Before a resume/application is submitted DO ring to find out about the job. DO ask about the job and the skills being sought. This is a chance to make yourself stand out from the rest of the applicants. Please DON’T ask “how much are you paying?” straight after you’ve introduced yourself.
Resume. If the job has a duty statement or selection criteria DO address these. This document tells you what the job entails and what skills the successful person should have. Addressing these shows attention to detail and understanding. I only want to interview six people and not addressing these makes it easier for me to throw an application on the discard heap.
Research. Once you know the name of your prospective employer DO find out who they are and what they do. This may be the first question you’re asked, but even if it isn’t DO make it known that you’ve done this. This shows initiative, research and self motivation.
Preparation. DO think about the questions you’re likely to be asked at the interview. A duty statement or selection criteria is pretty much the questions you’ll be asked. DO prepare answers to the questions and DO make a list examples you’d like to use in the interview. It's hard trying to think them up on the spot.
Promptness. DO turn up 5-10 minutes before an interview. The trend now is to provide the questions before the interview starts and it’s a chance to think about what you'd like to say and apply your examples to each question. PS Where you can, DO try to have a separate example for each question, and not reuse the same example.
Greeting. DO shake hands with each member of a panel, and please ladies … no limp handshakes. DO repeat each member of the panel’s name as you meet to help remember their names, and DO take off your coat. DO ask whether it’s OK to use any resource material you’ve collected eg list of examples, copies of website material, etc. I’ve never said no (or been told no for that matter) and it shows a well prepared, interested candidate.
Interview. Each question is looking for your experience (and this is where a relevant example is so helpful) and your understanding of the skill(s) behind it. DO try to cover both of these things for each question, and maybe an example will help:
Question: Give an example of where you have demonstrated good time management skills.
Answer: Last July was a busy time as I was involved in preparing a contribution to the annual report as well as my usual work. One week I was asked to prepare an urgent brief for the Minister. I discussed this with my supervisor and suggested that some of the routine work I usually do could be shared between a couple of staff who don’t regularly do the same sort of work but are available to help when things are busy. That would allow me to make the urgent brief my priority and I would go back to the annual report contribution while the brief was being checked. Everything was submitted on time. To manage my time I also maintain a diary, prioritise my work each week based on deadlines, complexity and how long work will take to complete, and I actively work with others in my Section to ensure all our work is achieved.
The example gives the interviewer context to the answer and lists the skills: organisation, working with others (more senior and junior), pro-activity, self starter, planning and information sharing.
Closing. DO ask questions if you have any, including how much the position will pay if that hasn't previously been mentioned.
I've finished interviewing for the position I have and the successful person starts next week. Good luck with your interviews or interviewing in the future … it's a time consuming, laborious process with an uncertain outcome. (PS If you read scary ... you got it!) How do you go about organising yourself, and what preparation do you do? And what are you or would you be looking for as an interviewer?
Monday, August 9, 2010
Because I can ... I'm a work in progress
I love I Saw You Dancing’s blog … she’s a fabulous writer and a couple of days ago she wrote about stocktaking her life, and how the way she currently lives impacts on her and others around her.
I like that sort of posts because that’s me … especially about a year ago, and it's comforting to know you’re not alone in wanting more … not just for yourself but for others.
I know the reasons why I cocooned myself from life … but my life has changed and last year I began the process of reclaiming my life and myself. (And a big thank you to Cathy from tinniegirl. Cathy started this process herself and mid January she offered to be the custodian of wishes made by others. Being given that opportunity was a great catalyst for me, and the icing on the cake was winning the wish canvas created by Cathy to celebrate.
And it was about time I did something.
Setting small goals for the year was the first step and I’ve tracked them every month.
Some of my goals have been duds and they’ll need to be added to next year’s list … mostly home renovations but my environment is as important as who I want to be on the inside.
I’ve taken the “working on myself” goals the most seriously including the spending more time with friends and family, and especially the exercising more goal.
Exercising feels like the foundation of what’s changed for the better. I have so much more stamina .. and it occurred to me the extra oxygen getting to my brain might be the reasons why I feel more positive about things!
Sometimes I feel so fireproof after I've finished exercising I could add new things to the list I made at the beginning of the year … but so far I’ve stopped myself. Change is incremental … you can’t just do ten new things or do them differently and it happens overnight. It takes time and work to get there, but the beauty is that with even the smallest success comes a confidence boost. I really like that bit.
So far I’ve managed to achieve the finishing five items, exercising, exploring my world more (through regular crafting groups and a group that eats together and blogs their experiences), and spending more time with family and friends. And I’m going to do the same thing next year … with a new list and new things to work on.
What are you working on? Have you joined a gym but it’s hard to be motivated because there’s no-one to go with? Maybe you’re doing well with something and others could benefit from your secret. I know I wouldn’t mind hearing … I so need help motivating myself (to get those pesky renovations done) so tips on anything would be so appreciated.
I like that sort of posts because that’s me … especially about a year ago, and it's comforting to know you’re not alone in wanting more … not just for yourself but for others.
I know the reasons why I cocooned myself from life … but my life has changed and last year I began the process of reclaiming my life and myself. (And a big thank you to Cathy from tinniegirl. Cathy started this process herself and mid January she offered to be the custodian of wishes made by others. Being given that opportunity was a great catalyst for me, and the icing on the cake was winning the wish canvas created by Cathy to celebrate.
And it was about time I did something.
Setting small goals for the year was the first step and I’ve tracked them every month.
Some of my goals have been duds and they’ll need to be added to next year’s list … mostly home renovations but my environment is as important as who I want to be on the inside.
I’ve taken the “working on myself” goals the most seriously including the spending more time with friends and family, and especially the exercising more goal.
Exercising feels like the foundation of what’s changed for the better. I have so much more stamina .. and it occurred to me the extra oxygen getting to my brain might be the reasons why I feel more positive about things!
Sometimes I feel so fireproof after I've finished exercising I could add new things to the list I made at the beginning of the year … but so far I’ve stopped myself. Change is incremental … you can’t just do ten new things or do them differently and it happens overnight. It takes time and work to get there, but the beauty is that with even the smallest success comes a confidence boost. I really like that bit.
So far I’ve managed to achieve the finishing five items, exercising, exploring my world more (through regular crafting groups and a group that eats together and blogs their experiences), and spending more time with family and friends. And I’m going to do the same thing next year … with a new list and new things to work on.
What are you working on? Have you joined a gym but it’s hard to be motivated because there’s no-one to go with? Maybe you’re doing well with something and others could benefit from your secret. I know I wouldn’t mind hearing … I so need help motivating myself (to get those pesky renovations done) so tips on anything would be so appreciated.
Monday, July 19, 2010
Because I can … Bendigo Show
On Saturday my Mum and I headed off earlyish to the Bendigo Sheep and Wool Show … the first year either of us have been.
It was so worth going. My Mum was dubious beforehand and made sure I was clear that she’d be leaving the show if she got bored, and then coming back for me. She didn’t … get bored that is or head off elsewhere without me. Quite the opposite. We both enjoyed the wool and the exhibits and the sheep and the yarn and the fashion show.
Before I continue I’ll get the comparisons between Bendigo and Ballarat out of the way. Sorry Ballarat (and I can say the following because I grew up there and my family still lives there) … but you suck! You seem to think that having best tourist destination in Victoria for over 20 years (Sovereign Hill) means you’re the best. Excuse me … but people either don’t visit Sovereign Hill at all or visit once per decade. What about diversifying and creating different things that appeal to different people: sidewalk cafes, interesting shopping, alternative lifestyle anyone? Bendigo definitely knows how to support innovation and to organise things to keep you going back. I’m really loving exploring Bendigo. (Sorry … I promise to start my yoga chants and stop ranting).
And Bendigo definitely has a sense of humour ... who else would put the knitting, wood turning, hand spinning and accessories in the pigeon shed?
Everywhere we looked it was hand dyed yarn everywhere but Mum and I were very good ... I got some sock yarn in a 40 Merino/40 Bamboo/20 Nylon mix for the sock workshop I’ve signed up to in September. And Mum got two balls of hand dyed 12 ply Merino boucle to make a wrap. When she’s finished I’m going to make the same thing.
And I stopped myself from buying this tea cosy kit ... but only just. I've been longing for a simple, elegant tea cosy and this is it! I took their business card with the idea that if I still wanted it weeks or months later I would get and I can't shake the idea out of my mind. It looks like it will be mine sometime soon.
The exhibits in the hand crafts part of the show were fabulous. I don’t think I’ve seen better in any show ... and this is always one of my favourites parts. There was so much ... some were more works of art than craft like this interesting piece.
And this scarf was so much fun ...
Lunch was wood fired pizza … a delicious Greek lamb balls and feta. I think the people making the pizzas were selling the ovens but by the look of it the pizza was far more popular than the ovens. They were so good Mum and I could have gone back for more.
I also wanted to meet up with a couple of Ravelry girls … all of whom I missed: Helen (Bellsknits), Kylie (klgirlknits), Louise (WiredforFibre), and Michelle. I just never seemed to be able to co-ordinate where to meet (basically I didn’t understand the instructions). Maybe next year, and I’ll see Kylie, Louise and Michelle in a couple of weeks at the monthly lunch. At least I’ll get to see their Bendigo wool stash there.
Did you go and what did you get? Photos please … LOL
It was so worth going. My Mum was dubious beforehand and made sure I was clear that she’d be leaving the show if she got bored, and then coming back for me. She didn’t … get bored that is or head off elsewhere without me. Quite the opposite. We both enjoyed the wool and the exhibits and the sheep and the yarn and the fashion show.
Before I continue I’ll get the comparisons between Bendigo and Ballarat out of the way. Sorry Ballarat (and I can say the following because I grew up there and my family still lives there) … but you suck! You seem to think that having best tourist destination in Victoria for over 20 years (Sovereign Hill) means you’re the best. Excuse me … but people either don’t visit Sovereign Hill at all or visit once per decade. What about diversifying and creating different things that appeal to different people: sidewalk cafes, interesting shopping, alternative lifestyle anyone? Bendigo definitely knows how to support innovation and to organise things to keep you going back. I’m really loving exploring Bendigo. (Sorry … I promise to start my yoga chants and stop ranting).
And Bendigo definitely has a sense of humour ... who else would put the knitting, wood turning, hand spinning and accessories in the pigeon shed?
Everywhere we looked it was hand dyed yarn everywhere but Mum and I were very good ... I got some sock yarn in a 40 Merino/40 Bamboo/20 Nylon mix for the sock workshop I’ve signed up to in September. And Mum got two balls of hand dyed 12 ply Merino boucle to make a wrap. When she’s finished I’m going to make the same thing.
And I stopped myself from buying this tea cosy kit ... but only just. I've been longing for a simple, elegant tea cosy and this is it! I took their business card with the idea that if I still wanted it weeks or months later I would get and I can't shake the idea out of my mind. It looks like it will be mine sometime soon.
The exhibits in the hand crafts part of the show were fabulous. I don’t think I’ve seen better in any show ... and this is always one of my favourites parts. There was so much ... some were more works of art than craft like this interesting piece.
And this scarf was so much fun ...
Lunch was wood fired pizza … a delicious Greek lamb balls and feta. I think the people making the pizzas were selling the ovens but by the look of it the pizza was far more popular than the ovens. They were so good Mum and I could have gone back for more.
I also wanted to meet up with a couple of Ravelry girls … all of whom I missed: Helen (Bellsknits), Kylie (klgirlknits), Louise (WiredforFibre), and Michelle. I just never seemed to be able to co-ordinate where to meet (basically I didn’t understand the instructions). Maybe next year, and I’ll see Kylie, Louise and Michelle in a couple of weeks at the monthly lunch. At least I’ll get to see their Bendigo wool stash there.
Did you go and what did you get? Photos please … LOL
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