This list of funnies landed in my inbox today ... apparently they're puns for educated minds!
I'm quite partial to numbers 13 and 18. Do you have a favourite and why?
1. Was the fattest knight at King Arthur's round table - Sir Cumference? – and did he acquired his size from too much pi?
2. Would an eye doctor on an Alaskan island be an optical Aleutian?
3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her Still.
4. Would a rubber band pistol be confiscated from algebra class, because it’s a weapon of math disruption?
5. No matter how much you push an envelope, it'll always be stationery.
6. If a dog gave birth to puppies on the road would it be charged with littering?
7. Would a grenade thrown into a kitchen in France result in Linoleum Blownapart?
8. If two silk worms had a race – would they ended up in a tie?
9. If a hole was found in the nudist camp wall, would the police look into it?
10. Although time flies like an arrow - fruit flies like a banana.
11. Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.
12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: 'If you stay here; I'll go on a head.'
13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
14. Would a sign on the lawn at a drug rehab centre say: 'Keep off the Grass.' ?
15. If a midget fortune-teller escaped from prison, would there be a small medium at large.
16. If a soldier survived mustard gas and pepper spray – would he be a seasoned veteran?
17. Does a backward poet write inverse?
18. In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.
19. When cannibals eat a missionary, do they get a taste of religion?
20. If you jumped off a bridge in Paris, would you be in Seine?
21. If a vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. Would the stewardess tell him “there’s only one carrion allowed per passenger.'
22. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says 'Dam!'
23. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
24. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my electron.' The other says 'Are you sure?' The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.'
25. If a Buddhist refused Novocain during a root canal – would his goal be to : transcend dental medication?
26. There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.